Day 4 - Chase This Light

Good morning, muses! (Well, at least it was morning when I wrote this, I will update the current on the end of this post.)

I couldn't help it. I had to run a status check. I was 54,4 this morning, after a cup of coffee.
Totally worth it, I lost 4 kg (8,8 lbs) since mid-april. 54 has always been a milestone, or rather a BITCH blocking the road shouting "Thou shalt not passsssss!", for me. I can't remember being below 54,3 actually. Which means I will probably want to weigh in tomorrow as well, just to inspire myself.

I am untouchable! Fasting is going great, I'm pretty energetic unlike last time. I'm really happy today. This might be Chase's fortune, or the fact that results are showing, but he is no doubt a motivational catalyst. I want to be as good as I can. It'd make me feel a lot better being rejected and know that I was the best I could be, than to feel like I could've made it if I tried harder. Personality wise, I won't change. And we get along great, so it's not a problem. I'm not saying I want him to want me for my body (I mean, he obviously doesn't mind that much), but what if I could be irresistable? Being beautiful is a great way to win someone over. In the long run, personality is what matters the most.

That's that, here's for the now:

I'm wearing the skirt I bought, which I like a lot. It's probably my favorite piece of clothing right now.
I have officially fasted for 96 hours now. If you don't count the beer. But hello, 54,4.
And I had a little OJ today, with the total content of one orange.
I also had to make people think I ate, so I had dinner. But I didn't HAVE dinner. I spit it all out, and rinsed my mouth thoroughly between each bite. I didn't accidentally swallow anything, and made sure that even the taste was gone after rinsing.
Me and my 2 friends made up, or there was really nothing to make up I guess. Just me being pissed that day. I came with them to shop, even though I kind of dislike shopping. But I tried on a dress in European size 34, and except for my boobs being squeezed to the extent that they almost popped out, it actually fit. Woah. I've been using 36 for a long time now.
My friend R told me "Not to sound rude, I do like your others, but that is one of the best looking dresses I've ever seen on you."
Yay.
My belly is looking flatter. I think I'm going to post a progress picture tomorrow, although it might not be THAT big of a change.

What made today even better was that I ran into my father. He's out of the hospital, and he's looking good. Apparently it was his blood pressure or something. He had passed out in the bathroom of a mall, and next thing he remembered was waking up in the ambulance. When falling, he broke his phone (so that's why he couldn't call, I even saw proof. Plus he said he was even thinking about coming to my school and leaving a message for me to the seceretary).
He lost my number. Mine's not in the phone book. And I got hard solid proof about the phone.
Daddy dearest, I love you.
He's being so supportive of me wanting to move out, too. And he can't see why it should be an issue. This is JUST the kind of encouragement I need, and probably the main reason why I cannot stand my mother for the life of me. If all else fails, maybe I'll change legal guardianship, but I don't know how that works out (especially since he's an alcoholic), and I really shouldn't screw up the relationship I have with my mother even further.
Who knows, maybe I'm fretting too much over this. Maybe she'll let me go easy. I sure hope so, it would be so much smoother for everyone.
Also, I'm considering working out afterwards, but I don't want to wear myself out either. We'll see.


Hope you're seeing the results you want as well.
All the best!
-Gripsoul