This is my ribcage. If you're not here to support, get out. If you're an outsider, get out. However, if you are here on your quest, you are most welcome. Leave a comment, and I will follow you.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I want your...

I'm updating from my iPhone, so please excuse errors, laziness and lack of pictures...

Anyways. Yesterday went fine, with a tiny slip-up which I couldn't help. Honestly. I still don't consider this actually breaking the fast, but I had a beer (100 kcal). Then again I got some unexpected exercise. Oh! And my waistline has minced by 4cm or so since last I checked, which is quite a while ago.

Now to how last night went down...
I don't know what's going on here. Chase was slightly tipsy egen I arrived. He'd been to Denmark and brought back heaps of cheap ale. He offered, I said no thanks. But he gave me one anyway. I had it. Oh well, we were drinking in his single bed while watching TV. I could feel his hand on my leg. We started kissing and this lead to that. I feel obese during sex. Disgusting. But quite worth it. This time I KNOW there were no strings... What made me feel bad is that he said it'd been 2 weeks for him, and he made it sound like such a long time.
And what might be worse is me not caring, and enjoying being taken advantage of.
I know he knows he shouldn't. I know he knows I still like him. I know. But I don't care. One day, when I'm thin and beautiful, I want him to fall for me. 
It made my day a lot better too. What can I say, I like smex. I almost missed the last bus at 11.55 pm. I wanted to miss it a little, but I don't like being a burden either. I ran, so SCORE! I got some more exercise. I also got yelled at this morning by my mother.

I hope this weekend works out... Sigh. Life is annoyingly complex sometimes. 
Today is day 3 and I'm doing better than yesterday. No cravings, no juice, only americanos, cigarettes and water.  

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