Friday, May 7, 2010
Day Fail - Karma Police
Darn. I had to eat today. Not because I felt ill or anything (although I did a little), but because I was forced. By more than one source. I was already struggling to resist temptation, for the first time since I started. And lucky me, that's just the day people start noticing me not eating.
I was with my father for quite some time today. We went to the grocery store together. He said "Do you want pizza? I don't know how much to buy," and I said that I just ate.
"No you didn't, I've been with you for almost 5 hours and your lunch break is at noon."
Friends have also been offering, all the time. Just when I'm at my weakest. That's karma for you.
Karma's a bitch. But then again, so am I.
So that failed. I said I felt a little nauseous, but that didn't work either because he said that could be because I hadn't eaten, that I should try to eat some and that he didn't want me to pull any anorexia business or anything (honestly, he doesn't know. )
I managed to escape the pizza though, so I had salad with a very small amount of chicken, feta cheese and dressing, and some paprika chunks and 2 pasta pieces.
He said it was too little, so I also ate 1 green apple and a fat free yoghurt.
When I went to the bathroom, I vomited. My stomach is not used to getting food at this point, so it just came up. Not all of it, I'm sure.
This also happened when I came home, had an omelette (WITH CHEESE! IRK! My mother made it...) this other bread crumby thing, and a bowl of oatmeal.
But all in all, it's not that horrible considering I could've gone crazy and binged on bread (or toast) which I really want, and fries and chips and liqorice. These are the things I would eat. But I won't.
Yesterday, my mother had me look at some secondhand clothes she got from a friend, whose 26 year old daughter had cleaned out her closet. I wore a pair of Diesel jeans today, and I've never had any pair of jeans that expensive that I can remember, and a pullover.
My mom said I looked thin in them. Both of them.
What the hell. At first I thought she said the pullover looked thin, like the fabric.
Just wait until I look thin in whatever.
Do the day and let the day do you.
I'll start afresh tomorrow, energy renewed. Errr, I'll call it "Day 5" though.
Oh! That IS the official start of the MNF too though. I just got a little head start here. Sweet.
I was 54 blank this morning. Hopefully, I haven't gained too much. I have to break that block!
What sucks is that gym class was canceled, the teacher called in sick.